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2000-10-06 - 12:16 am Hi all! I am really getting pissed at the net and this computer. The net is screwed up do to that new phone thing called Verizon. It screws AOL up sometimes. I just hate it! My Computer sometimes has good days and bad days. It pisses me off big time. It is old and I think it is timefor what I call update. Anyway,Saturday I leave for my trip to see my Grandfather. Part of me is like I have to see him and part of me is like I really don't want to. I feel when I talk or around my Grandfather I have to pretend and act fake. I love him, but not close like I am to my Grandmother who I love so much! I told some of my friends about my Grandfather thing. My friend Claudine felt bad about it. While my friend Jenna said "Remember the good memories". I am like what good memories? I never see him and all he does bascially send me a card on my birthday with a check. It feels like I have a picture of him in my mind, but nothing else to remember with it. If this was my Grandma I could go on and on for hours about her. This weekend is going to be weird and strange. I have not seen him since I was 14. I am so different from then. The braces, awakwardness of being little is gone. I am older and different. He is not going to believe it is me. What am I suppose to do? I am so lost about all this and confused. I try to hide my emotions about it, because I want to live my own life and not worry. The worse thing to do is worry. That is what is happening, I am worrying. Oh great!! This sucks all together. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO? Someone wake me from this nightmare that I call the year 2000!!! Luv ya, Abby � � |